


It’s not real, it’s just a dream

by Curious_Reader



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-07 12:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7714543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curious_Reader/pseuds/Curious_Reader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie Fraser has begun to dream. He dreams of strange things he cannot explain, but knows they’re not something to be ignored. How much of what one views in dreams change the future?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please be aware this story will contain some spoilers for the books.

Everyone has dreams, sleeping or awake, everyone has dreams. Jamie was no different, when he was a boy he would dream of the stories he had been told and the adventures he and Ian would have. As he grew up he would dream of his mother, dream of the brothers he had lost and the lives they should have lived, the men they should have all become. In Paris he dreamt of home, dreamt of his life at Lallybroch, of the life he would not only lead, but provide for his family and the tenants. After Fort William he began to dream of restless things, filled with worry, guilt and longing for the past. Gone were the dreams of love, family, and the women who might be something to him, if only while his eyes were closed. He didn’t miss those dreams, he barely remembered the dreams when he woke. The dreams changed, everything changed when he woke up in the abbey, and he remembered, hazy it might have been, but he remembered.


	2. The Cottage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware this story will contain some spoilers for the books.

Jamie held Claire tightly, wrapped in his plaid on the floor of the abandoned cottage. He held her close out of the fear of everything he could have, almost did lose. But she had chosen him, she had stayed. He could see the emotion she couldn’t express in her face and knew perhaps why she had stayed. Jamie had never been so happy and scared in all of his life. There were countless questions running through his mind. What if she changed her mind? What if life here was too hard? What if he misread the feeling shown on her face? He tried to push these away for the time being and just hold her, hold the woman he loved. He fell asleep with the hope that he would be strong enough if something did change and she wanted to leave, and enough for her if nothing did. 

The dream was different this time, clearer than they had been before, but still it felt so far away. He was confused, he hadn’t had a dream like this for months. He was in the cottage, he watched as Claire cried, he watched as he told her that he would find her, watched while they cut each of their palms, watched as they made love, and watched as she blessed him. Jamie jerked awake staring out the door towards that hill, his heart slowed when he felt Claire shift beside him. He wouldn’t sleep again that night, he needed to see here there beside him to know that what he watched wasn’t real, she hadn’t run, she hadn’t left, and there were no Red coats. Jamie breathed deeply, needing to believe nothing was wrong, it was just a dream.


	3. Lallybroch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware this story will contain some spoilers for the books.

It had been a tumultuous few days, though Jamie was happy to be home. He had finally sorted things with Jenny and he could sense that Claire was easing into a relationship with her as well. They could be happy here. He could so easily picture their lives here; working the lands, managing the tenants, building a family. Never a day went by that Jamie didn’t hope and pray with all he was for that to be true. For the price on his head to be lifted and to finally be free, to be the man he so wished he could be, the man he was supposed to be. Claire shifted next to him on the hearth rug, she had fallen into a light sleep. He sighed and thought more on what Jenny had said about being with child and wondered if it would be the same for Claire. He tried his best not to think too much on the topic as the witch had said she was not able to bare children, but after tonight’s conversations and the sound of both Claire and young Jamie asleep near him he could not stop himself. Closing his eyes, he could picture her, round with their child, he could see her smiling but tired and holding a small bundle in their bed. He could almost hear a small child toddling toward him calling out “Da!” and knowing it was him. He smiled but at the same time he felt his heart tug with sadness. He would not lie and say he wasn’t a bit disappointed in idea that he would never be a father, but it was something he would gladly accept if it meant a life with Claire by his side. With that last thought he rolled to his side and gathered Claire up into his arms. She didn’t wake, but sighed and melted into his embrace. Jamie looked back and checked on his young nephew and pulled up the covers over them and began to drift.

“Daddy? Daddy?!?” He heard Claire ask. He felt as paralyzed as he looked, he couldn’t move, he just stared at the young blonde girl. Suddenly he was watching himself quickly getting dressed. He tried to place the woman who had appeared in the doorway. God who was she? She looked familiar. As he watched the scene unfold he was racking his brain as to what he could be seeing, who was this young girl? Why was Claire so upset? She looked different, but only a little. She looked softer somehow, older maybe? He watched and listened as he spoke with the older blond woman, and recognition struck him like a thunderbolt. Laoghaire! Why was she here, she had never visited Lallybroch before, would have no reason to, did he and Claire live here? Confusion was the constant. Jamie tried to puzzle things out as he watched Laoghaire, the girl and himself walk downstairs. He shook when he heard her speak of them being married, and his heart broke when he watched Claire as he reentered the room. Jamie just wanted to wake up. This was the clearest a dream had been for him in quite a while. He didn’t like it, just wanted it to be over. He could hear almost everything, could sense the tension. He couldn’t feel the physical actions, couldn’t hear every word, wasn’t always in the room where that version of himself was. He watched as Claire got dressed, watched as she cried, watched as he tried to shave, watched and understood the emotion that was making the razor shake in his hand. He screamed as Claire fought so obviously to get away, and yelled again as he watched himself force a kiss on his beloved wife. Jamie stopped paying much attention as they kissed and wrestled on the bed towards the floor. He was trying to think, had just about formed a thought process when Jenny walked in, he watched her pour the basin over their heads and… 

Jamie woke shivering with Claire on top of him shaking him, quietly saying his name over and over. He looked around and saw that he was still on the hearth rug at Lallybroch, young Jamie still laid sleeping on the chair, and the fire was slowly burning down. He assured Claire he was fine, just a bad dream. She seemed skeptical, but relaxed a bit when he said it again, with more conviction. Claire had assumed it was a dream of battle or maybe the fort because of Jamie’s scream and moans. He hadn’t the heart to tell her otherwise. He himself was unsure of what he had seen. Jamie knew these dreams were more than just normal dreams, they were something he needed to pay attention to. But nothing ever made sense to him. Everything was disjointed and he saw things that he knew could never happen, could never be true. He would never marry another, let alone Laoghaire, not on his own. He loved Claire, would never want another. She had made it clear she would stay with him, had chosen him. He head was spinning, who was that girl? How had she come to be? She couldn’t be his, could she? Jamie sighed, trying to slow his thoughts. He had a million questions and knew he needed to try to sort them before reassessing what he had dreamt. He and Claire quietly stood and readied themselves to go upstairs to their proper bed. He lifted young Jamie and his heart tugged again. This time with something other than hope, but confusion and something close to guilt as he followed Claire up the stairs.


	4. L'Hôpital des Anges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware this story will contain some spoilers for the books.

Of course he had seen Claire as a healer many, many times, and every time he could not take his eyes off of her. But to watch her in L'Hôpital was something else entirely; she was so obviously in her element. She didn’t seen him and for that he was thankful. It gave him the chance to really see her. Jamie watched her a bit longer and left to continue his business for the day.

When he finally got home and Claire wasn’t home yet he worried, L'Hôpital was not in the best part of Paris, but he knew Murtagh would never let anything happen to her. Feeling slightly more at ease, he moved around his study loosening his stock and sat heavily in his chair by the desk. He still had quite a lot of work to be finished, but decided it could bide. He so rarely allowed it, but thought he could take a moment to just sit, breath, and relax. Pouring himself a drink and releasing his hair Jamie reveled in the quiet of the house. He shuffled papers from one place to another trying in vain to organize the desk. “Iffrin” he muttered when he got a paper cut, he sucked the offended finger until the feeling subsided. The tiny pearl of blood brought his mind back to Claire and L'Hôpital. The smells of the sick and medicines suddenly filled his nose. He could still hear her commanding anyone who would listen to get this or that while she held a patient’s wounded leg. Jamie had originally been skeptical of the idea of her working in such a place, but after today his reservations lessened. Claire was happy there, and he could never wish for anything more than to see her so. He smiled and took a long sip of his drink allowing his head to fall back against the chair and close his eyes. He sighed, drifting off to so sleep with thoughts of Claire, covered in blood and grime; but never looking more beautiful.

The smell, “God, what was that smell?” He looked around and was in a town like nothing he’d ever seen before. “A dream again.” He thought more than a little annoyed. He turned in a circle looking at his surroundings, the streets were empty. He stood in front of a large building, many stories tall. He saw people moving around on the inside, he moved to peer through the windows and could see that the people were mostly all in white and fussing over others in beds or chairs. “Ah, a hospital then, these must be healers, like Clai…Wait where is Claire?” Jamie moved quickly to the door at the front of the building, a slight panic building in his chest. Claire was always in the dreams like this, usually near him. He managed the door open, loudly he thought, though no one noticed. He searched every room, hallway and closet he came across. He stopped at one point and just watched. Everything was so different, everyone ran around with such urgency, it was so bright yet the walls looked muted. He could smell the fear and sickness, he could sense the tension in the many people whirling around him. Jamie took a deep breath and trudged forward continuing his search.

He had made it to the third floor and was about to move to the fourth when he hear someone say the name Randall. He stopped dead “Randall?” he thought and tried listened. “You can’t just keep pressing her for information!” said a small woman in head to toe white. “Clearly she’s been through an ordeal, we don’t kno” “Don’t be ridiculous nurse” she was cut off by a large man with a long white coat, his face showing his frustration and annoyance with the woman. “I am aware of her condition, it’s clearly trauma and probable rape. Her husb” the last of this sentence was not heard as Jamie began running down the hall checking each room again. His heart bounding, blooding roaring in his ears. Questions flooded his mind. “What had happened? Why is she back in Scotland? Is this Scotland? Who touched her? He would kill the spineless worm who dared to lay even a finger on his love.”

Claire laid on a small bed in an empty room, she was curled into herself, faced away from the door. He could see her shaking, she was crying. In the same second he felt an immense relief at finding her and heart shattering fear. He moved slowly towards the bed, of course she didn’t see him, God how he hated these dreams. He needed to talk to her, make her know he was there, that she was safe now, that he’d let nothing else happen to her. He needed to know what happened. He circled to the side of the room Claire was facing. She looked different, her hair was longer, and she was exhausted. “Why is she so thin?” He was absorbed in his own thoughts as he looked her over, her blank stare at the wall past him, slowly she began to recover herself as the tears receded. He didn’t hear or notice the door opening, hadn’t noticed someone walking in. His head shot up when he heard her name being said, “Jesus, Randall!” his throat tightened, rage boiled in his veins. When Claire stiffened and turned to face him, so calm, like she was expecting him; He realized it wasn’t the Randall he knew, but the Randall she knew. This is Frank.

Standing as close to Claire as possible, he listened to their conversation, listened as Frank expressed his excitement at her returning home. Jamie noted how haggard the man looked, how would he look if Claire went missing from him? He suddenly felt a stab of guilt towards him. Jamie listened as she told him haltingly about what had happened. His brain was racing, trying in vain to understand what she was saying. He knew the story she told Frank, it was their story. Everything felt like it was spinning, he couldn’t keep his thoughts together. He was trying to figure anything out, to make sense of this odd scene in front of him. He had just about caught up with himself when he heard it, she was pregnant. The air left him like a blow to the stomach. “Well of course she was, that’s why I worried about her working at L'Hôpital.” He thought. But this was not L'Hôpital, this was clearly her own time. Why was she here? What happened? How did she get here? Why?! The word screamed over and over in his head. He felt dizzy and sick, he tried to compose himself enough to continue listening; Frank was asking similar questions. Claire opened her mouth to answer and the room began to become unfocused. Everything was blurring. Jamie tried desperately to hold on, to stay in the dream to learn what had happened. He stared at her until his eyes burned from dryness, involuntarily he blinked.

The door closing jolted him awake, he kept his eyes tightly shut in hopes of the dream returning. After a moment he reluctantly gave up and slowly opened his eyes. “How long have I been asleep?” He thought as he looked toward the window in hopes of discerning the time. It was growing dim out, but not quite dark yet; an hour maybe two then. He heard Claire quietly moved to stand behind him at the desk, she began running her fingers through his hair. “Long day?” she asked. He turned around to look at her, she was almost glowing from the excitement and energy of the day. It had been a long time since he had seen her so happy. “Aye, it was. How was yours?” 

Her face broke into a bright smile and she began to tell him all about what she had done and seen. He listened as best he could but his mind was still in the hospital two hundred years from now. As she continued he lifted his arms to pull her closer to him; she paused her story and let him pull her to him. “She is here, her and our child.” He though as he leaned his head on the small bump of their child, breathing her in and trying to ground himself to the here and now. “What is it love? What happened?” He let out his breath, his grip tightening around her. “Dreams.” He said into her stomach. Claire was surprised by this, usually he didn’t want to be touched after a dream, let alone reach for her. She wanted to know more but knew better than to question what he saw in his dreams.

Jamie took a slow breath in and began to calm, these dreams were coming more frequently, each one clearer and longer than the last. He didn’t understand them and always woke before finding out any real information about what he saw. He longed to speak to Claire about them, had tried once before but had yet to form the proper words. He pulled away slightly and looked up to her face. “Have ye…” the words caught in his throat, he cleared his throat and tried again. “Have ye ever been in a hospital… in Scotland?” Claire’s eyes widened, and her face was suddenly worried and confused. He continued on before she could speak, his voice dropped lower when he said “in your time?”


	5. And his heart grew three sizes that day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short one shot, it is a direct continuation of L'Hôpital des Anges.  
> Please be aware this story will contain some spoilers for the books.

Jamie watched her in awe as she slept next to him. She had been wonderful with him tonight as he told her everything he could about his dreams. She was quiet for a long while and then slowly began to ask questions. He didn’t understand, he thought he was going mad, but tried as best he could to answer. She held him and whispered words of love and reassurance.

When they finally crawled into bed in the early hours of the next day he worried he’d fall into another dream. He did his best to fight sleep, wanting to stay in the present with Claire. She sensed his distress and silently moved atop him and loved him, doing her best to put him at ease. Trying make him understand she was here and had never wanted to be anywhere that wasn’t next to him. When their breath came back to them, he allowed himself to be pulled with her into the warm embrace of their bed.

Jamie sighed heavily when he became aware enough to note he was no longer in bed, no longer in Paris, but outside. “Damn” he huffed as he looked about, it was dark, but he could make out something in the distance. He moved closer to the what he could now see was a cottage. “at least it seems to be my own time, but when, and where?” all of his thoughts vanished as he pushed the door open. Dougal was there, standing in a room filled to the rafters with men. Jamie knew these men, he looked around and saw himself, sitting hunched over in pain and gripping his arm.

“Why here? Why show me this?!” he asked the air, he was growing very tired of these dreams. He never had a say and always, always saw things that pained him. He turned to walk out, to wait this bloody dream out when he saw her.

He noted with a detached sort of thought that his legs had stopped working and his heart was trying it’s level best to leave his body. “Claire” he breathed. In his frustration he had completely forgotten what had happened on this night. He could not take his eyes off of her. “God she is stunning.” Were the only words that came to him. He felt it then, his heart growing to accommodate his love for her. Happily, he leaned near the fire and watched everything this dream showed him. As they mounted their horses the dream began to fade.  
He drifted back to himself to the feeling of Claire’s arms wrapped tightly around him, she was whispering soothing things to him. Whipping away the tears rolling down his cheek she asked “another dream?” He stared up at her and smiled. Pulling her lips to his he said “aye, let me tell ye all about it.”


	6. Mackenzie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware this story will contain some spoilers for the books.

Jamie’s head hung low as he walked home in the early hours, He knew this wouldn’t go well. Sighing, he rounded the corner to their street. He stopped then, took a deep breath and tried to think how he should explain the night’s events to Claire. He hoped he would be able to be calm and clear when he explained that he did not want those women. Did not ask for their attentions. Did not want to go to that brothel in the first place. He hoped he would be able to explain how much it hurt him, how much he hated himself when his body betrayed him in its response. “She knows I only want her, need only her, she has to know that, doesn’t she?” Jamie begged. Squaring his shoulders, he continued down the street praying for the strength to tell her, should she ask. Praying she would believe him.

Claire shifted slightly next to him, he looked down to see her brows drawn together in her dreams. He hoped they were pleasant, not wanting her to relive anything to do with the last few hours. Her response was no great surprise to him, she had responded almost exactly how he had thought she would. What did surprise him was his response to her, it was not what he had thought to say as he had walked home; it was anger, honesty and not a little hopelessness. He told her everything he could, watching as her tears fell, feeling his own prick behind his eyes.

When at last they had come together, she had torn him apart, as he had done to her. They had fought and pulled, ripping new openings in their hearts while securely placing themselves in the remains. Jamie lay staring at the ceiling a bit longer and trying to find some calm. He rolled towards Claire, cupped the swell of their child and fell into a deep sleep knowing things would be ok, in time.

The snort brought him to awareness. he held his eyes closed as long as he could, hoping with all his might that he could just go back to his bed, back to his present. *Another snort* “No such luck then” Jamie sighed and opened his eyes. An annoyed looking brown colt stared down in his direction, Jamie moved slowly as he looked around. Obviously in a barn, he looked for anything that could help him place which barn this was. Shortly he gave up on the task and headed towards the door. He stopped in awe, the view was beautiful; but nothing he was familiar with. Clearly he was far from The Highlands.

The grounds seemed empty, Jamie walked about for quite some time never coming across anyone. “Odd” he though, his dreams almost always showed him someone. He could not remember the last time he had a dream where he was just walking about. Perhaps when he was young? He used to dream of exploration and adventures; but even those had someone in them. He shrugged it off and took it like a gift, deciding to enjoy the serene feeling and the lush grounds. As he continued he heard something, a voice on the wind.  
Following the sound, he finally found someone, found himself. He walked closer, noticing as he did, how thin he looked. He looked harder and began to notice the differences, there weren’t many, just slight changes. He was thinner, more tired looking, he was sad. He contemplated this as he watched himself work. A few moments later the voice he had heard before started calling again, he turned towards it and saw a young girl coming towards the field. As she approached he finally made out what she was saying. “Mackenzie? Who…” Jamie tried to sort why this young girl would be calling him that, clearly she knew him, but why did she call him by one of his other names? did she know the others? Jamie was trying to listen to their conversation, he made out most of it, able to conclude that he obviously knew her too.

Most of their conversation being of little note or importance to him, he was beginning to drift back into his own thoughts when he heard the threat. He lost his breath. He knew he could do nothing in these dreams. He could not scream and be heard, could not tell her to stop, could not stop himself from speaking. He was dumbfounded as he listened to their back and forth and the final agreement. “What in God’s, what is this, where is Claire, she’s always in these God forsaken dreams.” He screamed this as he watched himself slump down in the field, and the young girl all but skipped away.

He couldn’t do it, couldn’t watch the scene which was unfolding in front of him. Jamie’s eyes were screwed tightly shut, he could do nothing, he begged the air around him to bring him back, back to his bed, back to his Claire. He flinched each time the sounds around him floated into his consciousness. Each word, each moan making him sick, ripping away a part of his heart. He drew his knees up to his chest laying his head down trying to block it all out, trying not to allow the tears to escape. He couldn’t think, couldn’t fathom what was going on, didn’t understand how he could ever do this, didn’t know where he was, or why.

He stood suddenly in a panic, he ran trying to avoid looking anywhere but towards the window. He stuck his head out and tried to breath in the night air. The only clear thought in his head was “what?” it repeated itself over and over until he felt dizzy. What could have been hours or lifetimes later he watched himself skulk away, back across the grounds. The dream began to fade then; his last thought was “what about Claire?”

Jamie sat bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring down his face, he looked over across the bed and panic struck him. The bed beside him was cold and empty, frantically he looked around the room and found no one; quickly he pulled on his shirt and began searching the joining rooms.  
He found Claire in the drawing room. She was still in her shift; she was doubled over breathing deeply. Not yet able to form words to ask what was wrong Jamie moved to her as fast as his body would allow. He tripped suddenly, looking down for what had caught his foot; he let out his breath in almost a laugh finally noticing the chamber pot. “She’s alright then; it was the sickness from the babe”.

The sound of his entrance had pulled her head up and she smiled faintly at him sprawled on the floor. “you’re alright a nighean?” She nodded, sipping her cup of water “I’m… I mean, I didn’t… did I wake you?” she asked hesitantly, he could see the flush of embarrassment rising in her cheeks. sitting up, he moved towards her, he cupped her face in his hand and said “No, and It would be of no bother if you had.”

They sat there quietly for another moment. Finally, getting the chance to know she was there, that he was with her and no one else. He was able to breath her in, but his breath shuttered with the memories of his dream. “I am here Jamie, we are here and you have me. Tell me?” Jamie squeezed her tighter trying to steady himself. He didn’t dare look at her, burring his face into the fabric of her shift he all but whispered “Ye werna there, I…I …there wa… there was a lass.” He fell apart then, letting his tears fall unbidden as he held tightly to his home.


	7. Mr. Randall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible spoilers?

They had talked extensively about Jamie’s dreams. They had tried and failed to convince themselves that the dreams were just very detailed nightmares. Endless conversations, long nights, and frustrated quarrels had led to absolutely nothing. Neither of them felt they were any closer to understanding why he was getting them and what, if anything they could mean. Claire was of the belief that they were the result of stress from the business, the whispers of a war, and the life they had been forced to live in an attempt to stop it.   
Jamie was conflicted, he wished fervently for that to be the case; it would be a convenient out. A lifetime in the highlands however, surrounded by stories and superstition gave him more than a little pause. He knew better than to just ignore his dreams. Many back home would consider them to be a gift, though just as many would brand them a curse, and warn caution. Jamie knew without question that these dreams were a warning of something big to come. Perhaps he was to stop it, or them; but to do so, he would have to figure out the what and where, let along the why. He knew he would need to talk Claire again tonight, as he thought he might have an idea as to the who.

Finishing up the last of the buttons on his waistcoat Jamie bent, kissed Claire’s forehead and walked towards the door. As his hand touched the door handle he looked back, absorbing the beautiful scene laid out before him. the light from the rising sun was lightly touching her face and illuminating her hair like a starburst. He smiled, heart filled to bursting with love and opened the door. “I love you” she mumbled as he closed the door, quiet as the house was, he had almost missed it. a sudden pain hit his heart as he pulled himself away from their chamber, only letting out the breath through smiling lips when he reached the front door.

later that evening as Jamie entered the house, His thoughts were still consumed with the wine business. Walking absently towards their chambers his thoughts started to return to the dreams and his need to talk to Claire about them. Suddenly he noticed how quiet the house was, normally swarming and filled with the noises of the staff, the silence was almost deafening. Concern shot through him with the thought that something had happened. As fast as he could without sprinting he reached the chamber and burst through the door. 

Claire sat on the bench by the window, hands cupped around her growing belly. At the sound she looked up to him and smiled the brightest smile he had seen in many months and said “Jamie! Come here?” Unable to do anything else, he nodded and moved to sit next to her “ye’re alright a nighean? He asked worriedly. Without answer, she took his hand and held it to her belly.

Jamie looked at her in confusion for a moment, about to ask again when he felt it. Quick as a butterfly, all of his breath left him. Dropping suddenly to his knees, he looked up to Claire with wet eyes and lowered his head to their moving child. “Hello, wee man.” Claire chuckled and wiped away her own tears, placing her hand atop his as she listened to her husband introduce himself to their child. 

Jamie spent the remainder the night at her navel, trying everything he could think of to get the baby to move again. Finally, he just held their child whispering sweet words in Gaelic. He and Claire didn’t talk much past little things, hushed loving things. Neither of them willing to risk ruining the moment with a more serious topic. They moved to the bed and reluctantly parted for a time to dress and ready for bed. Jamie fell asleep with a smile and his hand around Claire’s stomach. 

Jamie woke to the sound of screaming. He bolted up and raced towards the screams without thought. His heart was pounding as he yelled for Claire, what could have happened.? Ripping a door open he went blind, blinking he slowly regained his sight and sighed heavily. More than a little annoyed he grumbled” these damn dreams will be the death of me!” taking a moment to slow his heart and regain his breath Jamie looked around him. He knew this was Claire’s time by the light alone, but there was nothing else for him to grasp where he was; everything around him was white. The screaming started again, he ran towards it only to be stopped dead when he heard “Jamie! Where are you?”.

“Here, I’m here!” He screamed as he crashed through the door. Laying in a bed, sweat drench and moaning was Claire. “Jesus, God” was all he could manage. Her belly was larger than he had ever seen it, he moved to the bed when she suddenly lurched forward, gripped the sides of the bed and screamed. Jamie just wanted to hold her, wanted to sooth, tell her it would all be over soon. He had closed his eyes for only a moment when he heard the thin wail of a newborn, opening his eyes as the room jumped into action. 

Jamie found himself moving toward the sound of the crying., he had no words looking down on the baby. She, he noticed was beautiful. She was red faced, fists curled in anger, and just the tiniest tuft of red hair. He felt it then, his heart breaking open for her. He turned then wanting to say everything in his heart to Claire, even if she couldn’t hear him.  
Claire was laid flat, and the doctors and nurses working frantically over her. “Mrs. Randall! Mrs. Randall wake up. Nurse, get more blood!” came loud to his ears and all the blood left his face. He stood paralyzed between the two women whom owned his heart and soul; waiting for the dream to fade like they always did, but this nightmare wouldn’t end.   
It felt like eternity passed until she woke. He had been pacing and praying, in the middle of a Hail Mary when he heard her. Tired and weak voiced she asked “Where…where is my baby? Is it alright?” A nurse handed her the wrapped baby, and the ground was solid under Jamie’s feet again. He stared at the picture before him, it was breathtaking, he could look at it forever. 

The door to the room opened and the dream began to fade, the last thing he heard was the nurse saying “Congratulations Mr. Randall, you have a daughter!”  
“Jamie? Jamie wake up.” Claire said in a soothing tone as she shook his shoulder. Coming fully awake he wrapped his arms around her tightly and just held her.  
She was petting his head and whispered “shh, shh, it’s alright now. You were crying in your sleep. What happened, what did you see?”

Taking a large breath, he moved his hand to the swell of the child between them, he looked up at her and let the tears fall as he answered “I... It’s, It’s you. The dreams I mean. I was with you; you were having the bairn. Sh” He choked, he couldn’t get the words out. Holding tight to his shoulders she urged him to go on. He cleared his throat and tried again “it’s a girl, she’s, she’s beautiful Claire. But I wasna there, you were back, then.” She stiffened at that and started to protest but he shook his head and continued. “I dinna ken why, but I think you’ll go back, you’ll go back to…. Frank.” He could feel her shaking her head back and forth, holding him tightly “I would never. You can’t think I” she tried to say. Jamie shook his head again and continued. “Claire, he was there, they congratulated him, they called you Mrs. Randall, they told him he had a daughter.” She was crying in earnest now, saying nothing but shaking her head. Sitting up Jamie pulled her to his chest and just held her. 

They had both calmed a bit after a while, gently he pulled her away from her kissing her forehead. Tilting her chin so she looked at him and in the most honest voice he could muster he told her “I promise ye, we will figure these dreams out. We will do what we must to no see it happen.” 

Letting out a long breath, she nodded, pulled his hand to her stomach and drifted to sleep on his chest.


End file.
